An Urgent Call to Pray for Our Friends

As I have reflected on my journey through the grief of losing my twin sister Maria, it has hit me more than once that I can’t point to a specific, clear method or formula that helped me survive. While I certainly worked through some helpful programs and met with a couple of counsellors, I could never say that one person or method transformed me from sad to happy again.

Instead, I was repeatedly surprised by God’s grace, strength, mercy, and love as I felt my way through my very long, messy, and dark time of sorrow. Over time, the deepest hunger of my heart completely changed, and ultimately, God became more real to me than He had ever been before.

I am absolutely convinced to this day that my whole sorrow story is one of God at work in my life. Through His Holy Spirit, He totally turned my life upside down for the better. I have always been aware that in my time of sadness, I had been far too shattered to “get myself through” on my own.

And yet… and yet…

How did I get through, honestly? Yes, it was God. No, it wasn’t by my non-existent strength. But what else was at work, behind the scenes, you could say?

One answer I have come to—and it is a scary one in a way (I’ll explain more later)—is that I had people praying for me. My parents, siblings, and other dedicated Christians got on their knees and prayed for me, not once, not twice, but often, over the days, weeks, months, and years, until I came out of the darkness into the light again. The prayers of God’s people carried me.

This is the truth I have been both surprised by and have come to be absolutely convinced of. It is why, to this day, I strongly covet the prayers of others. Whenever I am going through a struggle, I do not hesitate to share and ask for prayer. My pride and desire to appear to have it all together as a Christian has been shredded by my experience with terrible grief. I would rather people think less of me for my struggle and yet still pray for me than believe I am sailing along effortlessly and let me sail to new challenges on my own because I am trying to do things by myself.

One of the Most Powerful Things We Can Do

I have seen God work in absolutely amazing ways as others have prayed. And that is why I believe that praying for others may be one of the most powerful things we can do on earth. Praying for ourselves is a wonderful start, of course. But praying in all sincerity and earnestness for others . . . Now that is where we begin to plug into the power plant of all power plants.

I mentioned earlier that this truth is rather scary. I mean scary, as in sobering. We cannot take prayer lightly. As the Lord puts people on our hearts, we must commit to praying for them. Who knows whether it will mean the difference between their descent into despair and their walk to ultimate and total freedom?*

We must also be vulnerable in asking prayer for ourselves. If we believe that God is most active because of the prayers of others, why would we hesitate to share about our struggles and ask for prayer? We should be eager to lay down our pride and do just that.*

I was recently surprised that I had never noticed a verse in the book of Job about praying for others. Job 42:11 says, “When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! (NLT)” It would seem that praying for others not only transforms their lives but can also have the potential to transform ours as well.

In his little book Encouraging Words for Discouraging Times Dr. David Jeremiah writes that praying for one another is part of “the Body dynamic” in the Christian faith. “I believe heaven will reveal how the world was changed through prayer: your prayers for others and their prayers for you,” he writes.¹

Believe me, I totally understand how, when you are grieving so terribly, it can be hard to find the strength to do anything, let alone pray for yourself or others. I have found myself, at times, saying, “Help, God, help,” while the tears ran. No other words would come. This is why I am thankful for the truth in Scripture that even when we can’t find the words, the Holy Spirit speaks for us.

Romans 8:26-30 says, “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will (NLT)."

We Have Role Models in the Bible to Follow

Besides Job, we are told of other people in the Bible who prayed for their friends: 

-        Paul, the apostle, said more than once in his letters to the different churches he had ties with that he was praying for them (Ephesians 6:18; Colossians 1:9; Philippians 1:3-4)

-        Paul also urged his friends to “join me in my struggle by praying to God for me” (Romans 15:30)

-        Samuel, a prophet in the Old Testament, proclaimed he would not “sin against the Lord” by failing to pray for his people, the Israelites (1 Samuel 12:23)

-        Jesus, before he was crucified, told his disciple Peter he would pray for him, that his faith would not fail (Luke 22:32)

-        The early Christians in the book of Acts are described as joining together “constantly in prayer” (Acts 1:14)

The Bible Commands It

Not only do we have these role models of people praying for one another in the Bible, but the Scriptures give us specific commands to do just that. Here are just two of the verses:

Ephesians 6:18, “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere (NLT).”

James 5:16: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results (NLT).”

Choosing to pray for the people in our lives can be a powerful way to help them and us. We can use simple words and be brief. We may even just say, "God, I don't know how to pray for this person. I just give them to you." We don’t have to feel spiritual to do it. The key is to bring them before God. 

Asking others to pray for us may also be the one way that we begin to experience change in our lives. Even if it’s embarrassing and shows my weakness, I would rather invite the power of others’ prayers into my life than hold onto my pride and risk falling even further and harder because I’m trying to do everything in my own strength.

*Two Big Caveats:

1.     While our prayers for our friends are absolutely vital, we must also be careful of thinking their healing is entirely on us. Ultimately, of course, it’s about the work of Jesus through the Holy Spirit in their lives. As people ask us to pray and as the Holy Spirit brings people to mind, let us be faithful in lifting them up to the Lord. But we must always remember, we are joining in God’s work as we pray; we are not the Saviour!

2.     When sharing about my struggles, I usually prefer to share with one or two faithful people that I know will keep my confidence and truly pray. Everyone is different, however. And every situation is different. Sometimes, it may be wiser to only share with a few; other times, with many.

Endnote:

¹   Dr. David Jeremiah. Encouraging Words for Discouraging Times. (San Diego: Turning Point, 2023).  

Photo, "Prayer," by Micah Strutzenberger, 2022